A time travel experience would almost be necessary to truly live through the glam metal era of 1980s Los Angeles. However, there are still a few bands keeping that spirit alive, while adding their own completely unique character to it. Steel Panther are one of them, and since this year’s European tour once again skipped Athens, the decision to catch them in Cologne was inevitable.
The venue initially seemed promising, but as soon as we stepped inside, we realized there was no air conditioning and the temperature had definitely exceeded 30 degrees, as the day had been extremely hot.
The consequences of the heat naturally affected the musicians as well. Lucie Sue and her band, who opened the night as support, were already drenched in sweat from the first few songs. Nevertheless, they gave it their all, mainly presenting tracks from last year’s album “Battlestation”, which has firmly placed them on the metal festival map. With hard rock influences and lyrics tackling very relevant topics, such as female empowerment or how to achieve your dreams regardless of age, Lucie Sue immediately pulled us into her world — one we quickly embraced.
Their set also included “Ride the Wired Wild Tiger”, featuring a collaboration with Steel Panther guitarist Satchel, a song whose lyrics describe how easy it is to write a hit — something Lucie and her band managed to do themselves with ease, much to our enjoyment. The crowd was fully warmed up, a pit opened up to generate even more sweat, and the band received their loudest applause before stepping outside for some fresh air after closing their 40-minute set with “Reckless”, one of the finest songs they have written.
Just before 9 PM, the glam metal satyrs stepped onto the stage amid cheers and applause. The Los Angeles quartet, dressed in leather and leopard-print pants, unleashed their full energy with “Eyes of the Panther”, immediately pulling us in with its speed and addictive chorus. Without a moment to breathe, they continued with the mid-tempo “Tomorrow Night”, its guitar melody transporting us straight back to 1980s Sunset Boulevard.
Despite the unbearable heat, Michael Starr showed incredible energy, constantly interacting with the crowd and delivering our favorite songs with his outstanding voice.
Two strippers positioned on both sides of the stage accompanied the band throughout the night, dancing during several songs and making the spectacle even more entertaining with their acrobatics and performances. After the first two songs, it was time for Satchel to shine. The stories shared about him and the rest of the band sounded straight out of an American Pie movie, entertaining us immensely. Although this stand-up comedy segment lasted around 10 minutes, it made the whole experience even better. His expressions and movements prove he could easily be a comedy actor, as could the rest of the band — I’m honestly surprised they still haven’t made their own movie in the style of “This Is Spinal Tap.”
Somewhere between those thoughts came “1987”, an anthem dedicated to the year when all our heroes were shining through their golden hits. From Ozzy and Judas Priest to Poison, Whitesnake, and Mötley Crüe, they were all there through lyrics and melodies filled with humor and nostalgia.
The band continued delivering hit after hit, constantly teasing and interacting with the audience until they invited a girl from the crowd on stage so they could sing to her. It didn’t take long before she was laughing along with the improvised songs each member created for her.
Then came their most entertaining ballad, “Girl From Oklahoma”, followed by Steel Panther inviting any girls who wanted to join them on stage and dance. During “17 Girls in a Row” and “Party Like Tomorrow Is the End of the World”, Michael Starr didn’t know who to dance with first, as there were definitely more than 17 girls on stage.
For the encore, the audience was given the choice between two songs, with “Fat Girl” narrowly winning the battle. They closed the night with “Gloryhole”, featuring one of Satchel’s most recognizable riffs, and everyone sang along to the chorus before heading out for a beer to cool down.
Satchel was also extremely generous with his guitar picks, throwing countless ones to the fans in the front row as souvenirs. Bassist Spider did the same, also tossing three candies shaped like female breasts into the crowd, joking that they contained cocaine.
Beyond their lyrics — which, if taken too seriously, probably won’t make them very easy to appreciate — Steel Panther are all exceptional musicians who could easily fill arenas, even if their genre belongs to a different era. Their song structures, choruses, and riffs are so carefully crafted that they reach another level during their live performances, delivering a flawless result.
And all of this happened in a venue without air conditioning and with mediocre stage lighting that couldn’t match the level of their performance — yet the show will remain unforgettable.
Their European tour has only just begun and includes many stops across Central Europe. Hopefully, some dates in Greece will eventually be added. Until then, “Party Like Tomorrow Is the End of the World,” as the Panthers say.
Setlist: Eyes of a Panther / Tomorrow Night / Asian Hooker / Just Like Tiger Woods / Friends With Benefits / Death to All but Metal / 1987 / Impromptu Song for a Girl / Girl From Oklahoma / 17 Girls in a Row / Party Like Tomorrow Is the End of the World / Fat Girl (Thar She Blows) / Community Property / Gloryhole
Nick Drakopoulos
Photos: ndrakosphotography
